|
| 16This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. 17If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? 18Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. 19This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence 20whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. 1 john 3:16-20 7Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son[b] into the world that we might live through him. 10This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for[c] our sins. 11Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us... 20If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. 21And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother. 1 John 4: 7-12;20-21 9Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Romans 12:9-13 8Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. 9The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet,"[a] and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself."[b] 10Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. Romans 13:8-10 So as anyone who reads this knows, i have really been struggling to figure out what God's plan for me is. where he wants me to go, what he wants me to do. and at this point i still don't have a clue. i am fairly certain that God wants us to stay in Richmond even though I really want to move to either cincinnati or raleigh. All of the doors in those cities seem to have been shut and my thinking that i am just not being patient enough is just a result of my strong desire to go there and not necessarily God's will. I am still trying to figure out what to do here. Again i am fairly certain that God is calling me to minister to the poor, homeless, and oppressed; i just don't know how and am scared to find out. it would have been a lot easier to move to cincinnat and help at helpOTR. i am a follower and not a leader. There is a new church plant here that is starting in sept. that is called the area10 project. it will meet at the Byrd Theatre in carytown, which for those of you not familiar with richmond is this really old theatre left from the days with silent films and organ players. they still how movies there, but mostly old ones and they usually run a series of midnight movies on sat nights in the summer. Carytown is an area of trendy specialty stores where VCU students like to hang out, but there is also a lot of poverty in the surrounding areas. if we are staying here, tori and i are probably going to help start this church, but what i am waiting to find out is if the church is going to be geared to the trendy, yuppy gen X and Y or will be geared to the people living in the area that are struggling to live. Tori and I are also considering moving down into this area, the only thing that is making us hesitate is Liam. On one hand we really don't want Liam to grow up in the west end suburbia, because of the general attitude, but I am scared to move into the inner city with him just because of my fears for his and tori and my safety. Anyways, i know that we are supposed to love God and love people and we love God by loving people. i just need help figuring out how i am supposed to do this. i know that i will never be happy unless i am doing what God wants me to be doing. i need a job where i can do God's will, whatever that is. 13May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13 | | |
| i am beginning to get really frustrated and inpatient. we have been living with my inlaws now for a month and it really sucks. i mean it is nice of them to let us move in and i appreciate it but i am sick of sharing a room with a 2 year old. Liam has not slept through the night except for maybe one or two nights the whole time and has become very very bratty since moving in. throw in a 3 year old spoiled cousin, three dogs, a cat, 2 hamsters, and 4 other people and this house is crowded. and as frustrating as it is, i am frustrated with myself for being frustrated. i feel like it is mostly, if not all, my fault. my inlaws don't have to put us up but they are and obviously their house is a lot less crowded without the 3 of us here, not to mention all of our crap. i'm the one that quit my waiting job back in aug and was out of work for 3 months. then finally took a job at a place i knew i would hate to make ends meet because i was just biding time until we moved to cincinnati. oh yeah, i put my 2 weeks in there yesterday. tori has been extremely patient through all this working her full time job, a part time job every other saturday and taking grad school classes. she also doesn't want to move but is willing if i feel i am called elsewhere. she also pushed me to quit panera, although i think she was mainly just tired of my b*tching. i really don't deserve her, but i am glad she is delusional enough to love me. I guess what is really frustrating is that i have absolutely no clue what i am supposed to be doing. i've been out of college for 2.5 years now and have a total of 6 weeks of part time proffessional experience as a staff writer for a weekly newspaper. everything else is restaurant/retail. i am not qualified for anything outside of minimum wage jobs and i am to the point of not even knowing where to look for a job anymore. i am looking in richmond, cincinnati and raleigh/chapel hill because i don't even know where geographically to look. i really hate richmond, but i know that it will be easiest to stay here and i think this is where tori will be happiest. her career seems to be taking off some. her job pays for her grad school and when she finishes the class she's taking now, she will have her provisional teacher's license in special ed. meaning she can go to any school system and get a job as a full teacher. she would just have to keep taking more classes until she got her masters to keep the license. the good news though is that virginia has one of the strictest guidelines for teacher licensure so it should carry over wherever we move if we do. a couple of months ago i was sure that we were supposed to move to cincinnati, now it seems all those doors have shut. i am stuck in a long corrider of shut doors and im still trying to find a key to try in them. so anyways i will be unemployed in two weeks, not that it matters that much becuase of how little i made there. if we are to stay here, i need a better paying job to get approved for a lease. at least a waiting job or something. idk if anyone besides nate reads this or if anyone could follow or stomache my rambling complaining, but if you did, i could really use some prayers for guidance; also a job and the energy to look for it would be nice too. | | |
| I watched a rosebud very long Brought on by dew and sun and shower, Waiting to see the perfect flower: Then, when I thought it should be strong, It opened at the matin hour And fell at evensong. I watched a nest from day to day, A green nest full of pleasant shade, Wherein three speckled eggs were laid: But when they should have hatched in May, The two old birds had grown afraid Or tired, and flew away. Then in my wrath I broke the bough That I had tended so with care, Hoping its scent should fill the air; I crushed the eggs, not heeding how Their ancient promise had been fair: I would have vengeance now. But the dead branch spoke from the sod, And the eggs answered me again: Because we failed dost thou complain? Is thy wrath just? And what if God, Who waiteth for thy fruits in vain, should also take the rod? | | |
| It has been awhile...I went to ohio this past weekend for my cousin's wedding. it was fun seeing my relatives especially my grandparents. i think i enjoyed seeing my relatives more than anyone else in my family, but i have always been more of a nostalgic/family oriented person. i suppose that is why i dated looking for a wife rather than a good time and ended up getting married at 20. Liam was absolutely spoiled though between my parents, his aunt erin and uncles brad and nate, and my grandparents. however he did pretty much get potty trained over the trip. turns out road trips where you stop every 2.5-3 hours to go to the bathroom is awesome for kids. the other thing that was crazy was that on the way to ohio we stopped at mcdonalds for lunch and as soon as we got him out of the car Liam yelled "MmmDonalds!!!" Tori and I have no idea where he learned that. we have only ever taken him there 1 time and it has been a while. I still haven't heard anything definite about a job. We move out of our apartment and into my inlaws on the 24th, a week from thursday. it is starting to get very stressful and i realized today that i have gotten very lazy in praying. the big news here in richmond today is that the R-braves are moving out of town. the R-braves are a AAA baseball team and the only "professional" sports team in the area. yet another example of how richmond is going nowhere fast. this has been a story in the making for last 3 or 4 years with our inept city council refusing to make a decision and by default forcing them out. the same city council that locked the school board out of its offices and took them to court over a technicality on the lease of the building. the school board won of course. may the peace of the Lord be with you | | |
| so i got the Irresistable Revolution for christmas and i finished it today. i don't know if any other book i have read has caused me to question how i view so many things. i am now like 95% sure God wants us to move to Cincinnati. while i still need to find a job there and that is a big obstacle, the hardest thing right now is trying to explain the feeling that i have. tori keeps asking "why cincinnati, there are homeless people in richmond too". i just don't have a good answer for it. i only have the feeling that God is calling me to cincy and not to stay here. both of our families our here so it would be easier to stay here. even though i have family in cincinnati. Rarely if ever does it seem that God calls us to take the easy road. on the other hand i wonder if Cincy is the easy road bc it would be easier to just start over. then there is the whole loving God and hating your family thing. i don't know. anyways, tori is getting stressed out because we have so many decisions looming over our heads and we are running out of time to make them it seems like. her mom is getting nervous because she thinks we will be moving in with them. we chose not to renew our lease and we have to be out of our apt. by jan 24th. we haven't looked at apts. here because we don't know if we are staying here. also Tori needs to know to drop the classes she signed up for next semester. if she starts them but doesnt finish we have to a pay out of our pocket instead of her work paying. i am starting to get nervous too. i know that God works on his own time i just don't know what to do while i wait. nate mentioned that he had a couple of contacts that would give me a reference. that would be cool. i am considering taking a couple of days off work and driving up sometime in the next few weeks. it would be really nice if i were coming up for an interview. if anyone reads this please pray with us Dear Lord, please show us Your will. please help us find Your answers for our questions. Lord please help us to wait for You and trust that You will answer us. Please show us which city to go to, please show us what to do when we get there. please forgive me for my lack of faith and for needing confimations and please help me to let Your plan unfold. In Jesus name. amen. thank you for you prayers. May the peace of God be with you and his love infect you. | | |
|
